Motherhood FAIL of the Week: Candid Camera

If you're a longtime reader of the ol' blog, or if you follow me on Pinterest, you know that I have a bit of an obsession with interior design.  There's nothing I love more than whiling away the hours curled up with a stiff drink and a copy of House Beautiful.  When I was designing the Muffin Man's nursery, I often found myself choosing form over function, which is why I've ended up making a number of changes to the decor since Noah's arrival (shag rug and unstable bookcase, I'm looking at you here).  I just really don't think there's any excuse for having a nursery that isn't well-appointed and a place where you yourself would want to hang out.

I've done my best to attempt to disguise the items necessary for caring for a baby within good design elements: the humidifier tucked behind a lamp, the wipe warmer perched on a remote corner of the changing table, and the baby monitor camera mounted way up high with the cord hidden behind one of the curtains.  Until today, I've been extremely pleased with how well my design-friendly solutions have worked out.  Putting the baby camera up above Noah's crib has given us a (literal) birds-eye view of his nocturnal tête-à-tête's with his stuffed rabbit, and allowed us to keep an eye on the kiddo without having to constantly adjust the angle of the camera.  Well my friends, I think I should've been spending a little less time patting myself on the back for my brilliant home decor solutions and a little more time actually watching my kiddo on the baby monitor, because when I went in to get Noah after his nap yesterday, he had the cord for the monitor wrapped around his body three times.  That's right folks, while I was blithely enjoying a hot shower and the rare opportunity to shave my legs, my kid was busy attempting to strangle himself with the cord for the baby monitor, and I was none the wiser.  Apparently, Noah had wedged himself into the corner of the crib closest to the window, reached through the rails of his crib and pulled the cord from behind the window curtain before somehow getting it wrapped around his little body.  Chalk this up to one of those "what my kid is actually doing when he's supposed to be napping" moments.  How ironic would it have been if Noah had strangled himself with the cord for the very item that is supposed to help keep him safe?!  Total.  Parenting.  Fail.

Needless to say, I'm extremely relieved that nothing tragic happened.  Last evening I took the opportunity to move his bed further than arm's reach from the window curtains, and I also affixed the cord to the wall so it cannot be grabbed by small, yet surprisingly dexterous little fingers.  Hopefully this will prevent any further incidences of Noah trying to strangle himself in the comfort of his crib.  My kiddo, of course, is completely oblivious to the panic I experienced when I went in and saw him with an instrument of potential death gripped in his sweaty little hand.  I, on the other hand, had to pour myself a nice big cocktail followed by a Xanax chaser just to recover; my nerves are definitely not built for Motherhood.